Catch-22: 22 Jump Street Review

THIS MOVIE WAS SPOILER-PROOF TO BEGIN WITH

Forget p90x, Insanity, AND Hip Hop Abs! The best way to get the abs that you want is by seeing 22 Jump Street! And if laughing fat off doesn't interest you, just shut up and go see it, narc.

There's a new drug on the streets and Jenko and Schmidt are at it again. They produced, collaborated (on the story), and starred in what I predict is going to be the best blockbuster of the summer.

The movie carried a broad self-awareness that answered a lot of questions, including "where can they go with a sequel to a reboot of a 1980's TV show?" or "how can they possibly build upon the unexpected success of the first movie?"

Silencing all of the critics, 22 took the exact formula from the first movie, sent it to hair & makeup, altered some wardrobes, added a Lamborghini full of money, and went with it.

That's basically it. I just told you the movie. Funny thing is, that's not even 20 ounces of it.

There are times in Hollywood history where a random anomaly arrives and truly shakes up the established status quot. George Lucas did it with Star Wars. The Wachowski Brother's (Sibling's, for political correctness) did it with the Matrix, and James Cameron did it with Avatar.

smh...

In each of these movies, there is an essential and unique characteristic that the viewer took from the movie: Space, Slow motion, and Visual Effects. Collectively, they all contributed turn-of-the-century special effects.

Within the comedy genre, the Hangover was considered to be avant-garde by telling a story backwards via an extensive amount of inebriation, and Rohypnol. The gimmick was very much appreciated for the first movie, but the sequels fell prey to the "viciously cyclic" nature of Hollywood, and what I like to call a Catch 22.

Attaching the phrase "damned if you do, and damned if you don't" to the term would be oversimplifying the term, but KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Point blank, money will only be given if money is going to be made; instead of spending money on fresh/innovative ideas, the production company's will only invest in something they trust, which happens to be the original blueprint.

Hangover 2 and 3 sucked. Rush Hour 3 sucked. Men in Black 2 and 3 sucked. Evan Almighty sucked. , Legally Blonde 2, The Klumps, Major League II, Blues Brothers 2000, A Million Ways to Die in the West all freaking sucked. 

Okay, A Million Ways to Die in the West wasn't a sequel, but you get the drift of my extensive list. Despite all of them having the ability to suck a softball through a straw, the majority of them made significant profits. 

Needless to say, comedy sequels are not good ideas because they will more than undoubtedly suck and fester in the Hollywood Hall of WTF Moments. That being said, 22 takes the beaten path, or street, and stands out among some of the best comedies (not comedy sequels) since the new Millennium, even surpassing it's predecessor.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!

It's one thing to make a good comedy sequel (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Toy Story 2 and 3) but it's another thing to vehemently disagree with the established success and acclaim of your originator, to firmly insert yourself (that's what she said) among the ranks of any Todd Phillips/Judd Apatow/Adam McKay production (which covers the majority of the Frat Pack members).

OBVIOUS CLARIFICATION DISCLAIMER, BEGIN!

I am only referring to the post-90's teen comedy phase. The 90's teen comedy phase was when Adam Sandler (which is one of my favorite comedians (whose movies I love (except his recent ones))) could get away with murder by muddling sporadic/self-conscious/silly obscenities for 90 minutes (wrapped in a story with an underlying positive message) and break the bank in the box office.

OBVIOUS CLARIFICATION DISCLAIMER, FINISH!

This movie is an organic satire and allegory. Covering interracial dating, homosexual relationships, and friendship strains, the movie is an effective tool for relating to the nation's youths. 

Comedy's with messages are few and far between these days. Also, the movie basically parodies and satirizes itself throughout the whole movie.

22 is vastly aware of itself, as it calls out the nature of its creation in the beginning of the movie. This establishes an organic satire-feel (echo!) throughout the movie that is filled with Easter eggs. This awareness creates a "self-depreciation" tone that ironically doesn't make you feel sorry for the film; it makes you appreciate it more.

Irony is used explicitly, natural comedy is called upon, and the character's chemistry is at an all time high in buddy cop history, channeling their inner Riggs & Murtaugh, Carter & Lee, and Hoitz & Gamble.

Lethal Weapon 5 on VHS and DVD

Of course physical comedy always follows Jonah Hill so that adds to the comedic punch, on top of Channing Tatum's impressive dumb-jock comedic performance.

You might be asking, "how could he have gotten any dumber?' or "is it really that hard to play a dumb-jock?". Well the fact of the matter is, Tatum outdid his previous shenanigans and served up a very entertaining comedic performance.

Jonah Hill takes a back seat in this one, but he's still as funny as he was in the first film. Hill also flexes his acting chops; it's a real pleasure to see the duality of an actor in such a silly movie.

Sidebar: Tatum also performs some pretty impressive stunts, that put me more at ease about his casting as Gambit.

**cues Pony by Ginuwine**

Story wise, to say that they told me what was coming, and still put together an interesting plot showed that the writing in this movie was phenomenal.

For me to know what was going to happen and still be surprised obviously makes me an idiot, according to the movie. But for the sake of my intelligence, the movie added a subtle Law & Order-like plot twist that made me feel even lesser; so...my intelligence wasn't salvaged after all.

Mad love to the writer's for incorporating Ice Cube into a vital role for the plot. Despite him being blacker than you can ever imagine, which is something acknowledged in the first movie (angry black police chief), he was a delight to watch throughout the film.

Do you remember Tyrese in Transformer's or in any movie for that matter, saying every line in the Stereotypical Black Supporting Character Encyclopedia Vol. 17? Well, Ice Cube one-upped him in 22 taking the stereotype to another level.

The movie cameos were great, as they did not pull an Anchorman 2 by just throwing people in the movie just for the hell of it.

Yeah...no comment

The action in this movie, predominantly Channing Tatum, was more voluminous as compared to the first film, but not to the point where it took away from the plot. The action sequences had just a much comedy as the rest of the movie, so it's not like the tone of the movie changed to a scene from Drive Angry.

Drive Angry...you know that movie with Nicholas Cage?

The jokes ran rampantly throughout the movie, virtually not giving me any time to recover from the previous joke. The jokes were witty, raunchy, subtle, quirky, spastic, physical, whatever you wanted it to be; 22 served up a platter-full of jokes that kept me in tears.

Overall, the movie gets an A+ for basically showing you its hand and still taking the pot; it's easy to do so when you have a royal flush. Also, the movie avoided the contradicting conventions placed on it by Hollywood: same plot, more money, same expectations. 

EXTENDED SIDEBAR: BEGINNING

Moreover, the only way the production companies will green-light a sequel is if the first movie makes a significant profit; regardless of how good the movie is, the production company will back a sequel blindly.

And in order to make money, you have to make a good movie; making a good movie by Hollywood's standards (guns, explosions, laughs, formulaic plot) will make money, which will influence them to make another movie. On and on and on and on, the cipher's keep moving like a rolling stone.

This is NOT an Erykah Badu comic book btw

BUT! The whole point from jump street (ha) was to make a good movie. Who honestly goes out and says "let's make a terrible movie!" or "you know what guys, I hope we don't make any money in the box-office!"?

FYMF!!!

Therefore, if they keep making good movies while bringing in serious cheese, then who's to say when the franchise will reach its zenith? Unfortunately, the franchise will run itself into the ground without any artistic integrity left to bear.

So how do you avoid this Hollywood Catch 22 of "damned if you do, damned if you don't" syndrome? Well, you must bypass the system. GEE DANNY! HOW DO YA BYPASS THE SYSTEM?!?!

The solution is simple: air out your dirty laundry. 22 is clearly aware of its situation, and strives to avoid conventionality by calling itself out on numerous occasions. The end credit scenes serve as the cherry-on-top, as it basically closes its loop, leading the viewer to believe that it will go out on its own terms.

EXTENDED SIDEBAR: ENDING

All in all, drop everything that you are doing right at this instant and go see this freaking movie right now! This is a fun movie to go see, so do not wait until the weekend to go see it. Hell, if you can get a good torrent file, torrent this sumbitch right now; I do not condone torrent-ing, but this movie is really good (acting/comedy/writing/directing/story/action-wise).

I couldn't resist...

In the dictionary of Hollywood Cinema, there is a definition listed called "summer blockbuster". Next to this definition, a picture of 22 Jump Street is there shooting it's guns in the air like the BAMF (bad ass motherfucker) it is.

this one

Laughs. Action. Hell-yeah Moments. Good plot. Explosions. These are the words that describe 22 Jump Street. Do yourself a favor and go Catch this movie...or keep reading your Wine & Cheese Enthusiast Magazine, narc.

Edge of Tomorrow: The Video Game Review

NO SPOILERS!!!

If there is a Scientology version of the devil, like an Alien Lucifer, then Tom Cruise has apparently struck a deal with it. How else would you explain his enormous wealth, tenured success, and lack of marital consistency?

I challenge you to tell me the last time a Tom Cruise movie flopped in the box office... You honestly can't (aside from Knight & Afternoon); this guy has had several hits in each decade.

Off the top of my typing thumb, you have Risky Business, Top Gun, and Rain Man in the 80s. In the 90s he brought you A Few Good Men, Mission Impossible, and Jerry Maguire. During the first decade of the Millennium, he brought you Minority Report, Collateral, and War of the Worlds. And in just four years, he brought you Ghost Protocol, Jack Reacher, and now The Edge of Tomorrow.

Edge of Tomorrow has basically beat all video game creators to the punch (with the help of All You Need is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka), in creating an actual video game for a movie. Live. Die. Repeat. This motto is the basis of all role playing video games; what fun would a game be if you couldn't try and try again.

Remember this debacle...

Honestly, this game is reminiscent of Halo: the armor, the "bad guys", and the mission. On the other hand, it blends Halo and Call of Duty and Source Code (which is like a computer program) into a gamer's wet dream.

(Before I get mauled on a technicality, Source Code doesn't have the fire power, action-wise or addiction-wise, that Edge of Manana has; it was way more technical for me to want to see it again and again. Groundhog Day isn't a video game. And Gamer...please).

Oh and I forgot to mention that the movie has time travel aspects in it as well...

Guns? Exoskeleton armor suits? Explosions? Comic relief? Cute British chick? Aliens? One of the most bankable actors in Hollywood? Video game structure? Action sequences? AND A HINT OF TIME TRAVEL?!?! I'm sorry, but you had me at explosions.

On top of all of that, the movie was actually good. Tom Cruise does his best Tom Cruise impression: spastic behavior, high pitched voice, crescendo-ing lines, "boy who cried wolf" character analysis, smile-laugh-punchline delivery, etc. (obviously I'm a fan).

Emily Blunt, forever lovely and likable, does her best to keep up with Cruise; at times, she's over matched by Tom Cruise's star power and charisma and acting. She did a great job chop-wise, but Cruise is a seasoned vet, especially in a movie like this. However, she was a total bad ass...

This is how I like my coffee

Bill Paxton was perfect, as he was just the right amount of over-the-top for my fancying; he seemed to be having the most fun out of the whole cast. Paxton plays a Southerner Master Sergeant who is the Disney version of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.

The directing meshed well with the story; the writing avoided giving away too much detail; the story was great; the acting was entertaining; and all of the other technical things were baseline and I'm glad, because it paradoxically would have been a distraction.

GOLDMAN SACHS RACKS GROUP

The only problem I had with the movie (aside from them hijacking Matt Damon's combat suit and combining it War Machine's armor suit) was that it didn't cash in on the funny moments. For instance, there were lines/points that were clearly inserted to generate laughs, and other lines that were comical due to Tom Cruise's reactions and facial expressions.

Some of these moments seemed like they weren't meant to be comical, because the background music and the tone of the situation were dramatic and serious. This incongruity bothered me, as it appeared that the director and/or editor did not correctly interpret the script at these moments.

The wavering nature of the lack of commitment to a genre (action-adventure-science-fiction-with-comic-relief or action-adventure-science-fiction-with-too-much-comic-relief, to the point where it borders on an action comedy) could cause a bit of uncertainty to an attentively critical viewer (basically, just me).

Moreover, once you actually sit down and figure out what's going on, you might obviously see where the movie is going, as it doesn't try to to trick you with any plot twists or gimmicks. (I wouldn't call it predictable, because unlike most predictable movies (rom-coms) this movie doesn't present itself in an avant-garde way (which is why the trailer is conspicuous to a certain degree)).

The details are laid out plainly in front of you, all you have to do is sit back and enjoy. By me saying this, the movie is set up for success; it was filmed efficiently and if Tom Cruise's character had obtained the cheat codes from Game Shark, then the movie could have possibly been anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes; after a certain key part that propels the movie forward.

Now that's not to say that the movie is ostentatiously pretentious; the movie hooks you (like a video game) on its cyclical nature and you'll find yourself rooting for Cruise to get past each checkpoint.

Most importantly, I was thoroughly entertained throughout the whole movie, and I was very intrigued with the universe and concept that was created.

Scenes from Minority Report 2

This movie is perfect for a guy's vacation/personal day or a female gamer or an "actual" strong women (as opposed the massive influx of virtually strong women (like its a style or something)).

Technically, since there is a "love interest" (normally, I wouldn't explicitly call it that, but for generalizability purposes I will) you could bring your significant other.

But honestly, it would be easier to find Waldo in the Andromeda Galaxy than to find it in this movie. The romance is so diminished in this movie that if you don't stare hard enough, you might miss it (seriously and fortunately).

I mean, there is romance, but the kiss came and Quicksilver'd away like a fleeting thought. I enjoyed this because they could have easily turned this around and made it supremely romantic, but like Cold Mountain (boggles my brain why this movie isn't on "the list" with Titanic and The Notebook smh) the romantic connection was understood and placed on the shelf for more important plot motives.

To focus on Natalie Portman of course...

All in all, Tom Cruise has added another hit to his list, as this is a complete package of a movie: action, adventure, suspense, thrills, comedy, romance, Scientology propaganda, and a 134,043,071+n-viewed-on-YouTube hit song by John Newman playing during the closing credits. From top to bottom, this movie was done well.

The production companies and the Church of Scientology obviously wanted to put out a good game with a solid story, while introducing ideas about tapping into the destined nature of one's self.

Moreover, according to the summer blockbuster criteria, it passes indubitably. Oh, and of course they are trying to make it rain (160 million in the first week against a 175 million dollar budget, not bad).

I have a subtle "C'MON MAN!!!" issue with the ending (spinning tops); however, this is definitely a game that I want to play again. COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!

**(If this movie hits a billion bucks in the box-office, which it won't, then I could see it being featured at Universal Studios as an interactive ride)**

Go see How to Slay your Dragon 2, out in theaters 6/13/2014

The Edge of Tomorrow brought to you by Electronic Arts was a legit game and definitely gets an Easy A because the story was unique; the directing complemented the story well; the writing within the story flowed effortlessly without being cliche and systematically explanatory (for a movie like this); the actors/actresses seemed to have fun making this movie, which always makes for a good movie in my opinion; and most importantly because Tom Cruise's is...MY JAM!!!!!

When the mission was impossible Tom Cruise's made it possible. He was a one man army in a War between Worlds. Do you remember Adolf Hitler? Cruise sent him straight to suicide hell. Basically, there were a lot of men, but only a few of them were good...Tom Cruise's is one of them.