32 Countries, 64 Matches, 1 Beautiful Trophy.

My dad introduced me to the beautiful game in 1994 and I was privileged to watch my first World Cup. I was too young to know exactly what was going on or who these players were kicking a ball around. I did not understand the tactics or even the overall purpose of a single game, talk less of the whole tournament. All I knew was I wanted the guys in green and white to put the ball in the net more times than the team in different colored jerseys because the emotion that I saw from both parents and older family members and friends was something that I had never seen before even till this day. I remember asking myself these questions as a kid. Why do we love sports? What is it that makes us as human beings identify with a team and its players and let's our emotions ride on the successes and failures of our favorite teams? I've put some deep thought into the phenomenon and I still can't explain it.

Football quickly became my favorite activity from watching the different international professional leagues in between World Cup to buying a new FIFA or Pro Evolution Soccer game every year to playing the sport at every chance I got. I loved the game and every aspect of it. Even now I sit here on a dual-monitor typing this post up on one screen and watching the USA v. Germany match on the other one. I say all this because the love that I have for football isn't limited to me but spreads worldwide. Even in the USA where tradition has held fast to baseball, basketball and "that game where the least popular player on the team is the only person allowed to touch the oval object with his foot"; the fever is finally spreading and infecting everyone. I watched my American friends, a few of which never watch sports, support the USMNT, cheering for every goal their boys scored and curse every decision that went against them. It's a great time for the sport. This is what it's about. Whole nations coming together to watch their country's best XI compete on the big stage for bragging rights and the World Cup trophy.

And here we are again... Four years removed from South Africa. The first round of the world's greatest sporting event is almost over and what a first round it's been. With the exception of one or two matches (looking at you Nigeria and Iran), this has turned out to be the best World Cup I've had the pleasure of watching. 136 goals and counting in 2 weeks of total football. Amazing. And we're only halfway through. Coming into every international tournament, we always have our favorites to win. Germany, Uruguay, Netherlands, Argentina, Spain, Portugal, England (LOL), Italy, France and the legendary Brazil. Nineteen WC trophies between them and any one of these teams could have easily carried the trophy this year. Alas, we were deceived by the Spanish, Italian and Portugese sides, who were not as good as we thought they would be this year. England only deceived themselves. 3 wins and 7 losses between these giants of football and they'll all be watching the rest of the tournament from their couches. Pity. Not really.They sucked. Especially England, who couldn't win a single game. I'm only grateful that the football gods lifted their curse on Wayne Rooney as he scored his first World Cup goal. Nobody wanted to see him turn out like this. 

                                                                           #WAZZA!

                                            How the mighty Casillas has fallen...
                   
Netherlands and Germany are my teams to watch from here on out. I've always liked the Dutch style of play in international competitions. As a Manchester United supporter, I'm hoping that Robin van Persie and Louis van Gaal can take them far. They're tied for highest goal difference (Goals Against minus Goals For) with Colombia (7) and have scored the most goals so far (10) and are one of four teams to win all their matches. Very impressive performance from The Orange. Especially when you have a lad that scores goals like this. 

                                                               #HeScoresWhenHeWants

The Germans, on the other hand, are my favorites to win it all. They're called The German Machine and they're running smoothly and on all cylinders right now. They emerged as the winners of the so-called "Group of Death" (which, in my humble opinion, was the weakest Group of Death I've seen in years) with 7 points. They demolished Portugal 4-1 in their opening match after Pepe got an early red card. But from the latter performances I saw from both teams, I don't think it would have mattered if all the Portugal fans came out on the pitch, put on a team jersey and played in the game. It wouldn't have made a difference against this German side. They're strong, composed and can turn up the pace when they want. They also have young Thomas Müller, a 24-year old forward who already has 9 goals in 9 World Cup appearances. Ridiculous. That kid is damn good. Sorry USA fans. 

Speaking of the USA. I'm impressed. Y'all deserve a round of applause. I wasn't expecting it. In a group with Germany, Ghana and Portugal I expected them to finish right at the bottom. They're a competitive team filled with heart and have fully embraced the underdog role, ready to stand against the football giants in their group. While typing this, I'm reminded of the great scene in Watchers of The Wall episode of Game of Thrones where the giant charged at the men of the Night Watch as they tried to hold the gate.

                                                         All those guys died by the way.

But that was my point. I don't think anyone who watches football really expected anything from the USMNT. Albeit, they escaped against Ghana (I'll be talking about the African teams later), but they should have beaten Portugal. They really should have. A moment of brilliance from Cristiano Ronaldo took that win away but whatever. The USA moved on to the knockout stages and they truly deserved it. Kudos. 

Moving on to the African teams of the tournament... Where do I even begin? Oh I know. NIGERIA MADE IT TO THE SECOND ROUND FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 1998!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! Congratulations to my boys on finally showing up to the tournament against Bosnia. Yes it a controversial match cause Edin Dzeko's goal was disallowed. We don't care! We beat Bosnia! And played a hell of a match against Argentina. Easily their best World Cup appearance since 98. Cameroon, Ivory Coast and Ghana thought they were better than us. Ha! Fly high Super Eagles. 

On a more serious note, Ivory Coast and Ghana played decent games. The problem with African teams, as I've said for a while, is that they lack finishing. Ghana should have beaten the USA but that's what you get when you don't capitalize on chances that you've had. Too little, too late. However, it was sad to see Michael Essien, Samuel Eto'o and Didier Drogba make their last World Cup appearances. They are three of the best African players I've had the pleasure of watching and I wish them the best of luck in their futures. Salute to them. Also sucks that we won't get to see anymore of Asamoah Gyan's dancing anytime soon but ah well. 

This is what the World Cup is about. Emotions.  Especially in a world that has been made even smaller with the use of social media. Millions of fans coming together on Twitter and Facebook to watch these matches together and support their nations. Some of the most fun I've had in the past two weeks was had watching each Nigerian match and conversing with friends and strangers on the Internet. The contagious levels of emotion that spreads and grows with each passing minute of a World Cup fixture. The unexpected excitement when you're team scores a goal and the elation that flows through the body is unlike anything else. At the same time, the utter, heart-breaking disappointment that is felt when someone scores against your team hurts so much as well. It's a tournament unlike any other. It comes once every four years. Enjoy it while it's here.

I'll touch on the little bit of controversy that everyone's surely heard about by now here for a bit. Luis Suarez and his toothy antics. Great, talented player who enjoys taking bites out of opposing teams defenders. He's been banned for four months and nine matches, which means he's missing the rest of the World Cup, even though one could make the argument for him being the 3rd best player on the planet. It's ridiculous. I've made the joke that he might have rabies but this is getting out of hand.  He deserved a longer ban than that, especially since this the third time his choppers have made an appearance on the field. And he honestly had the nerve to say "these are things that happen out on the pitch. It was just the two of us inside the area and he bumped into me with his shoulder and that's how my eye got like this as well. There are things that happen on the pitch and you should not make such a big deal out of them". I'm sorry but... wait what? Yeah he actually said that in his post-game interview. I'm as confused as you are.

On a lighter note though, I'm ready for the next four rounds of the World Cup. It's all knockouts from here, so yes. Expect some March Madness-style craziness from here on out. Expect a few penalty shoot-outs. Heartbreak. Controversy. And no more Suarez. They all come with the package. One thing's for sure though, is that you won't be watching alone. I'll leave you with this great commercial from the 2010 World Cup, which puts into perspective just how massive the World Cup is. Enjoy the rest of the tournament. 

Catch-22: 22 Jump Street Review

THIS MOVIE WAS SPOILER-PROOF TO BEGIN WITH

Forget p90x, Insanity, AND Hip Hop Abs! The best way to get the abs that you want is by seeing 22 Jump Street! And if laughing fat off doesn't interest you, just shut up and go see it, narc.

There's a new drug on the streets and Jenko and Schmidt are at it again. They produced, collaborated (on the story), and starred in what I predict is going to be the best blockbuster of the summer.

The movie carried a broad self-awareness that answered a lot of questions, including "where can they go with a sequel to a reboot of a 1980's TV show?" or "how can they possibly build upon the unexpected success of the first movie?"

Silencing all of the critics, 22 took the exact formula from the first movie, sent it to hair & makeup, altered some wardrobes, added a Lamborghini full of money, and went with it.

That's basically it. I just told you the movie. Funny thing is, that's not even 20 ounces of it.

There are times in Hollywood history where a random anomaly arrives and truly shakes up the established status quot. George Lucas did it with Star Wars. The Wachowski Brother's (Sibling's, for political correctness) did it with the Matrix, and James Cameron did it with Avatar.

smh...

In each of these movies, there is an essential and unique characteristic that the viewer took from the movie: Space, Slow motion, and Visual Effects. Collectively, they all contributed turn-of-the-century special effects.

Within the comedy genre, the Hangover was considered to be avant-garde by telling a story backwards via an extensive amount of inebriation, and Rohypnol. The gimmick was very much appreciated for the first movie, but the sequels fell prey to the "viciously cyclic" nature of Hollywood, and what I like to call a Catch 22.

Attaching the phrase "damned if you do, and damned if you don't" to the term would be oversimplifying the term, but KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Point blank, money will only be given if money is going to be made; instead of spending money on fresh/innovative ideas, the production company's will only invest in something they trust, which happens to be the original blueprint.

Hangover 2 and 3 sucked. Rush Hour 3 sucked. Men in Black 2 and 3 sucked. Evan Almighty sucked. , Legally Blonde 2, The Klumps, Major League II, Blues Brothers 2000, A Million Ways to Die in the West all freaking sucked. 

Okay, A Million Ways to Die in the West wasn't a sequel, but you get the drift of my extensive list. Despite all of them having the ability to suck a softball through a straw, the majority of them made significant profits. 

Needless to say, comedy sequels are not good ideas because they will more than undoubtedly suck and fester in the Hollywood Hall of WTF Moments. That being said, 22 takes the beaten path, or street, and stands out among some of the best comedies (not comedy sequels) since the new Millennium, even surpassing it's predecessor.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!

It's one thing to make a good comedy sequel (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Toy Story 2 and 3) but it's another thing to vehemently disagree with the established success and acclaim of your originator, to firmly insert yourself (that's what she said) among the ranks of any Todd Phillips/Judd Apatow/Adam McKay production (which covers the majority of the Frat Pack members).

OBVIOUS CLARIFICATION DISCLAIMER, BEGIN!

I am only referring to the post-90's teen comedy phase. The 90's teen comedy phase was when Adam Sandler (which is one of my favorite comedians (whose movies I love (except his recent ones))) could get away with murder by muddling sporadic/self-conscious/silly obscenities for 90 minutes (wrapped in a story with an underlying positive message) and break the bank in the box office.

OBVIOUS CLARIFICATION DISCLAIMER, FINISH!

This movie is an organic satire and allegory. Covering interracial dating, homosexual relationships, and friendship strains, the movie is an effective tool for relating to the nation's youths. 

Comedy's with messages are few and far between these days. Also, the movie basically parodies and satirizes itself throughout the whole movie.

22 is vastly aware of itself, as it calls out the nature of its creation in the beginning of the movie. This establishes an organic satire-feel (echo!) throughout the movie that is filled with Easter eggs. This awareness creates a "self-depreciation" tone that ironically doesn't make you feel sorry for the film; it makes you appreciate it more.

Irony is used explicitly, natural comedy is called upon, and the character's chemistry is at an all time high in buddy cop history, channeling their inner Riggs & Murtaugh, Carter & Lee, and Hoitz & Gamble.

Lethal Weapon 5 on VHS and DVD

Of course physical comedy always follows Jonah Hill so that adds to the comedic punch, on top of Channing Tatum's impressive dumb-jock comedic performance.

You might be asking, "how could he have gotten any dumber?' or "is it really that hard to play a dumb-jock?". Well the fact of the matter is, Tatum outdid his previous shenanigans and served up a very entertaining comedic performance.

Jonah Hill takes a back seat in this one, but he's still as funny as he was in the first film. Hill also flexes his acting chops; it's a real pleasure to see the duality of an actor in such a silly movie.

Sidebar: Tatum also performs some pretty impressive stunts, that put me more at ease about his casting as Gambit.

**cues Pony by Ginuwine**

Story wise, to say that they told me what was coming, and still put together an interesting plot showed that the writing in this movie was phenomenal.

For me to know what was going to happen and still be surprised obviously makes me an idiot, according to the movie. But for the sake of my intelligence, the movie added a subtle Law & Order-like plot twist that made me feel even lesser; so...my intelligence wasn't salvaged after all.

Mad love to the writer's for incorporating Ice Cube into a vital role for the plot. Despite him being blacker than you can ever imagine, which is something acknowledged in the first movie (angry black police chief), he was a delight to watch throughout the film.

Do you remember Tyrese in Transformer's or in any movie for that matter, saying every line in the Stereotypical Black Supporting Character Encyclopedia Vol. 17? Well, Ice Cube one-upped him in 22 taking the stereotype to another level.

The movie cameos were great, as they did not pull an Anchorman 2 by just throwing people in the movie just for the hell of it.

Yeah...no comment

The action in this movie, predominantly Channing Tatum, was more voluminous as compared to the first film, but not to the point where it took away from the plot. The action sequences had just a much comedy as the rest of the movie, so it's not like the tone of the movie changed to a scene from Drive Angry.

Drive Angry...you know that movie with Nicholas Cage?

The jokes ran rampantly throughout the movie, virtually not giving me any time to recover from the previous joke. The jokes were witty, raunchy, subtle, quirky, spastic, physical, whatever you wanted it to be; 22 served up a platter-full of jokes that kept me in tears.

Overall, the movie gets an A+ for basically showing you its hand and still taking the pot; it's easy to do so when you have a royal flush. Also, the movie avoided the contradicting conventions placed on it by Hollywood: same plot, more money, same expectations. 

EXTENDED SIDEBAR: BEGINNING

Moreover, the only way the production companies will green-light a sequel is if the first movie makes a significant profit; regardless of how good the movie is, the production company will back a sequel blindly.

And in order to make money, you have to make a good movie; making a good movie by Hollywood's standards (guns, explosions, laughs, formulaic plot) will make money, which will influence them to make another movie. On and on and on and on, the cipher's keep moving like a rolling stone.

This is NOT an Erykah Badu comic book btw

BUT! The whole point from jump street (ha) was to make a good movie. Who honestly goes out and says "let's make a terrible movie!" or "you know what guys, I hope we don't make any money in the box-office!"?

FYMF!!!

Therefore, if they keep making good movies while bringing in serious cheese, then who's to say when the franchise will reach its zenith? Unfortunately, the franchise will run itself into the ground without any artistic integrity left to bear.

So how do you avoid this Hollywood Catch 22 of "damned if you do, damned if you don't" syndrome? Well, you must bypass the system. GEE DANNY! HOW DO YA BYPASS THE SYSTEM?!?!

The solution is simple: air out your dirty laundry. 22 is clearly aware of its situation, and strives to avoid conventionality by calling itself out on numerous occasions. The end credit scenes serve as the cherry-on-top, as it basically closes its loop, leading the viewer to believe that it will go out on its own terms.

EXTENDED SIDEBAR: ENDING

All in all, drop everything that you are doing right at this instant and go see this freaking movie right now! This is a fun movie to go see, so do not wait until the weekend to go see it. Hell, if you can get a good torrent file, torrent this sumbitch right now; I do not condone torrent-ing, but this movie is really good (acting/comedy/writing/directing/story/action-wise).

I couldn't resist...

In the dictionary of Hollywood Cinema, there is a definition listed called "summer blockbuster". Next to this definition, a picture of 22 Jump Street is there shooting it's guns in the air like the BAMF (bad ass motherfucker) it is.

this one

Laughs. Action. Hell-yeah Moments. Good plot. Explosions. These are the words that describe 22 Jump Street. Do yourself a favor and go Catch this movie...or keep reading your Wine & Cheese Enthusiast Magazine, narc.